WHEN I FALL EPISODE 21

BY RUTHIE LEE

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Why couldn’t I speak. My right hand released from her body and went under her chin. My hand raised her head up again, and she looked into my eyes…
“What are you doing sir, Joseph?” Kathleen asked.
Hell. I didn’t know what I was doing.
I was trying to control my head, but it leaned down on its own and our lips touched.
Kathleen reciprocated immediately.
Our breath synchronized with our lips, I wanted to stop but the word stop was an overstatement, my lips just carried on with it’s own path and I couldn’t resist.
Kathleen was rough with her kisses and you could tell how hungry she was. She kissed me like she had been craving for it since she was born, and I just couldn’t stop. We just couldn’t stop there.
The cold wind surrounded our body but still it still didn’t cool down the hotness I was feeling on the inside. Our bodies were igniting and we could both feel it. As we kissed there was this feeling that followed it. A feeling I couldn’t explain, a feeling that made my head tingle and spark and that made my pupil want to hide at the back of my head.
But all of a sudden I stopped, I didn’t how that was possible, but I stopped kissing Kathleen and stepped back again.
I shouldn’t be doing this! I tell myself.
But you already did and there’s no going back.’ my subconscious reminded me.
Kathleen bit her upper lip and bent her head down.
“I’m sorry!” she apologized.
“W..why are you apologizing… I should be sorry instead!” I said nervously, and her hand released from my body and I felt empty.
“You shouldn’t apologize to me” Kathleen stated.
“But… I.. Kissed you, unnoticed, and… I’m sorry that was very careless of me, it won’t happen again!” I expound.
I hope it doesn’t happen again, cause it’s awkward, not that I have feelings for her or anything, but at that moment, I wanted her, I wanted her like I’ve never wanted anyone before. Did her words get to me? She said she wanted me and before I knew it I was kissing her. I just lost it. I have always been a man of control, but yet look at what just happened.
“Even if it did happen again, it’s fine, you don’t have to apologize, sir, Joseph!” Kathleen’s voice snapped me out of my reverie.

I cleared my throat “I think it’s time we head inside!”.
I made a turn and start to walk away letting Kathleen walk behind me…
We both got inside and Kathleen shut the door behind us.

“I’ll go to bed first then!” I said walking towards my room direction when Kathleen called me.

“Sir, Joseph!”

I turned to see her eyes looking sad and also piercing mine with revere.
“You… You’re not mad at me are you?” she quietly asked.
“Mad at you? Why would I?” I asked. My voice was low too.
“Because of the kiss, I’m sorry about that, if it angered you or if–
“Kathleen!” I interrupted. “I can’t be mad at you for my own mistakes!”
“Mi… Mistake?” her face suddenly looked like she saw a ghost.
Did I say the wrong thing.
Yes the kiss was a mistake, I’ll keep telling myself that, but still was it really a mistake? Cause I was in my right mind and senses.
“No… No it wasn’t a mistake!” I said in order to make her not feel bad about herself.
“I’m just saying, whenever someone makes a mistake, don’t apologize for their mistakes, apologize only for your mistakes, and apologized for what you truly believe is a mistake” she nodded and I tried to smile, but I didn’t.
“Thank you!” she smiled.
I nodded “I’ll head to bed now!”.
“Okay goodnight!” she stated.
“Good night!” I said, and walked away.
–
The house was quiet like always, Mary was fast asleep beside me and Kathleen would be asleep too, by now in her own room.
I Couldn’t sleep and couldn’t stop thinking what happened few hours ago.
“I don’t know, like seeing you every minute of the day, I want you to look at me, talk to me. Be with me, talk with just me, don’t look at anybody else. I enjoy your company every time and I just want to be close to you and I just want to own you”
I suddenly remembered Kathleen’s voice saying that and I shut my eyes.
She loves me without even realising it. She can’t decipher feelings or emotions, but yet she’s very good at explaining them bits by bits.
I have always been the one to fall in love first, just like how I did with Suzanne, I always believed I wasn’t good with girls, that’s why I stayed by myself during school days. But trying to settle down Suzanne caught my attention, my everything and I just couldn’t let her go, trying with my every move, she really didn’t seem to love me like I did to her, but she accepted me and gave me the best care and love and now I’m wondering how or where did the care and love went to.
And now Kathleen. She loves me romantically, she doesn’t know it, loves Mary like her own child and damn all this is just so confusing and she is not even human.
I was just so confused and with my mixed up thoughts about Kathleen, I fell asleep.
And that was the night it began.
–
I saw Kathleen standing in front of the back door and holding Mary in her arms.
I walked close to both of them and touched Mary on her shoulder and she turned to me with a smile.
“Sir, Joseph Mary’s asleep” she smiled and though she was so close her voice sounded so distant.
“Let’s take her to bed!” I stated and we both walked to Kathleen’s room, instead of my room.
Kathleen dropped Mary on the bed and turned to me, still holding her bright smile.
“Okay now…” Kathleen smiled.
We both held eye contact and her hands slowly went up my body and to my neck, circling it.
My hands wrapped around her waist and her pulled her closer to me. I leaned down and our lips locked immediately.
Wait what is happening?
My hands travelled down her waist and up again under her plaid shirt, and wait I didn’t notice, but it was one of my plaid shirt. She was wearing nothing underneath and I grasp her body and lifted her off the grounds and immediately her legs grasped my waist.
Her face was now above mine and the kiss got really intense, Kathleen opened all her mouth to take me in and I gave her what she wanted. We were rough and we were willing to go beyond rough.
I unbuttoned the shirt Kathleen was putting on, leaving her upper body unclad.
Catching a few breaths and admiring Kathleen’s body, Kathleen laughed and asked “Like what you see!”.
My head went back up to facing her beautiful face.
Our lips locked again and…
–
My eyes opened and I sighed heavily.
It was just a dream, and yet it felt so real. I felt every sweet sensation like it was real.
Why did I dream about that, I’ve never had a sexual dream before. Even if I should have I can’t believe it will feel this real.
I sighed heavily and stood up, I noticed Mary on my bed still asleep and stood up.
I walked out of my room and getting in the living room, I saw Kathleen walking in the living room too.
We both paused seeing each other. Well I paused cause it’s Kathleen and because of the dream I had. Seeing her ignited those feelings I felt.

“Good morning sir, Joseph!” she gave a small smile.
“Good morning!” I replied.
Not knowing we were heading the same way, we bumped into each other while trying to walk in the hallway that leads to the bathroom.

“Oh it’s fine. You go first!” I tell her and she nodded.
Kathleen walked into the bathroom and I followed her. I saw the two new toothbrushes I bought lying neatly on the bathroom sink.

“Is this the new toothbrush you bought?” Kathleen asked…
“Yes it is!” I said
“Can I have the pink one?” she asked.
Well I’ll be damned. She know colours.
“Yeah I bought that one for you!” I said.
I grabbed the green toothbrush and after rinsing the brushes under the running water, I applied toothpaste on the toothbrushes and we both silently brushed our teeth together.
Brushing our teeth quietly and staring at our reflection in the mirror, I tried my best not to look at Kathleen’s reflection even though I could feel her stare.
Just when I glanced at her reflection, I noticed something about her eyes. It was different. It was brighter and golden. I glanced at her real self to see the eyes just the normal light brown and then in the mirror it was golden bright.
“What’s wrong sir, Joseph?” Kathleen asked.
“Y..your eyes!” I stated.
She looked at them in the mirror. “what’s wrong with them?” she asked.
“they’re different from your reflection!” I replied.
She looked at her eyes closely. “They’re still the same to me!” she said.
“And what colour are you seeing?” I asked.
“Light brown! Just like yours.” she replied.
“Strange! They’re actually different or is it my eyes?” I mumbled to myself.

“This is nice!” Kathleen squeaked.
“What is?” I asked placing my toothbrush in it’s rightful place and disposing the old one in the waste bin.
I dried my mouth with a short towel and walked out of the bathroom.

I sighed heavily as I walked out of the bathroom, standing in the lobby and lost in thoughts my dream flashed before my eyes. This is so weird.

I walked into the living room about to make a turn to my room when I heard Kathleen’s voice call out to me with a light touch from her on my shoulder.
My inside flinched by her touch and my blood went high.
I turned immediately looking at her like I’ve seen a ghost.
That touch.!
It was just a stupid attention touch, why did my body have to feel that way.

“Is there something wrong?” Kathleen asked.
Of course something is wrong. Something is really wrong.

“Uhm.. No.. Nothing’s wrong, I just got a little lost and didn’t know you’d be behind me!” I stated.
“Okay?” she smiled. “I just wanted to ask, if you’ll let me make breakfast with you!”
“sure, why not!” I stated my mind far away from me.
“Great, but seriously sir, Joseph, is there something wrong?” she asked again. “You look really distant and dull!”.
Well maybe that’s because I almost had sex with a siren in my dreams.
“Maybe I’m just a little tired!” I tried to smile before walking away to my room.
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T. B. C
BY RUTHIE LEE 🌸 🌸
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